self-satisfaction

Hey all!

Today I decided that I wanted to write about self satisfaction, because I know that this is something that everyone deals with in their lifetime. Unfortunately, I don’t think it is talked about as much as we all think about it.

I think there is a large misconception of the difference between self-satisfaction and arrogance. This is understandable, because being satisfied with yourself might come off as being arrogant to someone else since they do not know exactly how you feel.

My issue with self-satisfaction is that I don’t really know when it is okay to be satisfied with myself. I know that if I become too satisfied with myself and what I do, there won’t be a chance for me to improve at all; self-satisfaction will then become like a consequence instead of a reward. It can stump improvement and increase your self-esteem by a little too much sometimes as well.

Because of this, I find that I am never satisfied with myself. I am always thinking about the negative part of myself or my music or my blog posts instead of the positive parts, because I am fearful of becoming too arrogant and getting carried away – and I know there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way, because I see this happen all the time with people my age.

And it’s abusive. It can get really emotionally abusive. I torture myself over the fact that I could have done something better or gotten a better grade on a test. I torture myself over things like how I play music and how auditions go. I do this even though I want to believe that I did okay and I am going to continuously do fine.

I want to believe it, but I feel like I can’t…which is what the biggest issue is, and what ultimately leads to my “downfall”. I guess it’s another type of insecurity, too.

Food for thought, guys. What do you think about self-satisfaction? Do you have too much of it or too little? Or are you stuck in the middle, unable to decide when you should be satisfied with yourself?

Let me know! You can let me know in the comments, or on a comment on an Instagram photo, or even in a DM. I am always curious to hear other people’s opinions on what I have to say about things.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll talk to you all in the next blog post (whenever that may be…hopefully tomorrow).

-S.J.L

i made another instagram account! this time, it’s going to be for my study stuff and pictures of my class notes and bujo spreads and such, if you’re interested in that kind of stuff. i will leave both links at the very bottom of this post after the gif of the day!

gif of the day:

(in celebration of starting a kind of studygram!)

SOCIALS:

✒️️Instagram: @ _sarahhl

@ _aqualina –> studygram

✒️️Tumblr: http://espressively.tumblr.com/